que sera sera

a bit of a note to myself...

I've always had a natural tendency to (over)analysis... guess that helps me in my job ;)

But I had a bit of a light bulb moment when I realised that I have spent the majority of the last ten years living with someone who was increasingly mentally ill - or if not that, deliberately manipulative and deceptive. Which meant he was saying less and less, and was more and more reactive to what I said.

That led to my tendency to analyse coming to the fore in both analysing what he did versus what he said (the behaviour seemed more consistent but he denied everything), and analysing what I was *about* to say before I said. Like a permanent filter on my brain...


only...

now he's gone !!!!

So I don't need to do that any more. Analysing is taking up a chunk of my energy and brain power that I could better use elsewhere. The analysis doesn't help me *change* anything so is not really serving a purpose. Where it does serve a purpose, fine. Where it doesn't, quit it. Just go with the flow, because what will be, will be.

On a similar note, as part of my continued quest to reclaim myself, (I make myself sound like a bit of industrial land !), I bought some slinky pyjamas today :)

Not that I am expecting anyone to see them, but now I am the kind of person who owns slinky pyjamas, rather than the kind of person who only owns comfy jimjams. :D

All part of "accepting the new Reality" or perhaps of *creating* the new reality !