safe zone

hmmm

For some reason I got to thinking about whether I send out mixed messages... but I realised that being with the LCT was the relationship equivalent of being in a silent order for 11 years. I had to think about not just every word, but all the *unsaid* stuff as well.

So it is probably surprising if I manage any kind of coherent message at all, let alone anything "mixed". I've been surpressing that kind of communication for so long, I know I could get it very wrong. Plus if I send out messages - eek - someone may repsond !!! now that would be scary...

I think it might have been because I read something on the Metro on the morning train this week about a company that runs training for blokes to work on their image, their body language, their chat up lines etc. And it got me thinking whether I could actually chat someone up or not. Thing is us girls tend to have it easy in that even in these days of equality, it tends to be the guys who are keen enough to make the first move. Or maybe I am way out of date...

Anyway, one of the tips from the Metro article was to find out what the other person was interested in, and say you were doing that this weekend and did they want to come along ? So what do you do - walk up to someone and say "hey, what do you like doing ?"

Right now I just can't imagine walking up to a complete stranger and doing that. It seems more likely that the conversation would have kicked off for some other reason (the weather, some over heard comment etc etc) and then you direct it ?

But then I am still struggling to move from safe/comfort zone into stretch... I seem to have got into a habit of wearing a neutral look - non-threatening I guess. I manage to push the edges slightly - wear a skirt now and then. But if I push it too far it just feels so fake. So "not me". I need to rediscover what someone like me wears - when they are not trying to fade into the background...

I went through my jewelery box the other day to get rid of the dross - and realised I have some nice things I hardly ever wear. I think it is part of the whole neckline thing - that I adopted polo necks and higher necklines so that guys at work were more likely to talk to my *face*. The may sound discriminatory and stereotyping, but this was just based on observation and reactions - it is not like before this I was wearing inappropriate clothing at work. Quite a subtle change, but if you want to be taken seriously (as a woman at work) you have to dress so people take you seriously.

Anyway, necklaces - even on a short chain - attract attention where I was trying to minmise (that kind of) attention.

Or maybe it is simply that I tend to dress for function - I almost lost the necklace I had on today.... I guess I am not used to behaving like a person who wears jewelery, or heels, or .... all those other girlie trappings.

I guess I am more in my safe zone than I had realised.