All the recent goings-on with the LCT have got me rethinking things again..

I think I had been holding on to some grand romantic notion that for whatever reason the LCT had convinced himself he was single before he got together with me. Not only did he tell me so, but other people said so as well.

So say he genuinely believed he was single, then starting to see me was not an issue.

But as soon as he saw the other woman again and realised it was not all over, to continue seeing us both *was* wrong. No excuse, but this is where the "grand romantic notion" comes in. Having got together with me, perhaps the emotion (love) was genuine, but then he found he also still loved her ? Then what to do ?

Torn in two, could he simply not make a decision ?

But if that was true, then taking me out of the picture should have resolved that. And he would be left to love his remaining love.

Instead he seems to have commented that he would stay single for a while, and then pretty much immediately fallen for the most recent woman.

So that blows not only the grand romantic notion out of the water, but also trivialises what he felt for me. It was not some grand love - it was just that I was there and prepared to fund a lifestyle.

It makes me sad that it now seems I have not known love. I have loved, and I have been loved (so I have been told). But to have that ongoing relationship with someone I love, who loves me.... I thought I had, but not so :(