the wheel turns

LCT's mental health (and other) issues meant that for a long time there were parts of me that remained unexpressed (stifled even). When he left, I was left wondering if those parts of me were lost, gone, or there to be remembered, revived.

Fate seems to have conspired to remind me - by spinning the wheel to 20 years ago - as if to say "wake up girl - you're still all there !"

Now I just have to work out how to integrate a 20 years younger me into the now-me.

In the meantime, I spent some time working around the garden and realised something.

When the LCT left I was worried how I would cope - I had spent 11 years with a partner, 2 years at the end living with my folks - so for a long while had not had to maintain a job and house by myself. Not had to *be* by myself. But the strange thing is that I am getting *more* done now than I was when LCT was here and there was 2 of us to manage the same amount of work.

How can that be ? How can one person achieve more than two ? It only works out if one of the two was actually not doing an awful lot and was actually impeding the other. :sigh:

Not saying I've got it all sussed. Just got back from visiting a friend and decided I really have to get more organised. (The house I visited was *tidy* :D) Things are getting better here - but its a slow improvement. This week will be a bit mad - as I have a new boiler being installed. But that frees up more work - to get the new lights in the hall in place and get it decorated - which I have to organise.

So that's my next "big" task, along with minor tidying up as I go.

I also managed to do 30-40 mins in the garden a few days running and it made a big difference. Being back at work will slow that upslightly, but something (anything) is better than nothing.