parasite-free

I got some news that the LCT is engaged to be married. But *not* to the other woman, the mother of his children. Oh no - to someone else !

Of course rational logical me knows that this is irrelevent and just confirms he is set in a pattern of behaviour.

But emotional fragile me did a quick wobbly. Luckily a good friend was around at the time and helped me through the initial reaction.

Emotional fragile me says "how come he gets to have Happy-ever-after when I don't (thanks to him) !!"

Rational logical me realises how unlikely "happy-ever-after" is for someone with the issues LCT has.

LCT stopped being part of my present or my future in October last year. The only thing he can affect is the past - and that is done and can't be changed.

Of course more information could shed more light on what the past was about. But knowing he is engaged to someone now doesn't really shed that much new light on the past. He just seems to be repeating old patterns again. Will he be any better at it this time ? Who knows ? (Not my problem any more). Will he actually get to the alter this time ? Who knows ?

There is a part of me that feels it is "unfair" that he gets a chance at "happy-ever-after" when he took mine away. But realistically - is this really going to be happy-ever-after for him ? As above, I suspect he is just repeating previous behaviour and of all people I *know* what living with him is like ! I am not sure I would want anyone to go through what the other woman and I have been through.

Part of me would like to know that what happened with me stopped LCT repeating the behaviour. But I guess that is a little crazy and maybe a bit arrogant. He had been behaving like that so long - and he would have to see it as "wrong" (which I am not convinced he does).

I would also like to do what I can to prevent other people going through that, if he is not going to stop it. I understood he was engaged to the other woman - so it does sound like the same thing all over again. I think he panics at the idea of being alone but actually has problems being in a relationship. This makes sense in terms of his relationship with the other woman as he only saw her two or three times a *year*. And with me, even though we were together a much longer time, the relationship was as dysfunctional as he could get away with blaming on PTSD.

But then, I guess parasites only survive if they have a host....