reinvention ?
so it is coming up for twelve months from being liberated from the LCT...
I was talking to one of my visitors, who split up from her long term partner 4 months ago. It seems to be that the things you miss when you go from relationship to singledom are often the things you were missing...the closeness, the companionship, someone to share things with (and yes, call me Ms Claus). Missing them now is not so much about having had them before, as knowing you *could* have them now if you played your cards a particular way. (Whereas being with your previous partner meant there was no chance !)
This weekend I came back home to discover my next door neighbouring doing a blitz on the "flower" (a.k.a. weed) bed outside their part of the shared drive. His partner is away and he wanted to surprise her with the makeover. Once again I realise how different life is with a partner who is prepared to muck in, co-operate, do their fair share. (I helped on Sunday as part of the area is outside my end of the house - and it made more sense to clear it all and avoid one part reinfesting the other).
Anyway, thinking about the previous rant on self-indulgence, I was wondering whether I ought to "retire" this blog at the twelve months mark... It's done the job of recording the journey so far but I am concerned it is boring and too 'safe'.
So: do I start over ? Or do I simply take this blog into new territory ? A new blog has the option of being relatively anonymous - but then I don't believe this one has an extensive readership anyway so it effectively anonymous ;)
As for new territory - I've mentioned before how I had gained a habit of self-censorship from my time with a partner who was mentally ill. I've not really found the balance on that one yet - I either over-censor or say things I really shouldn't. Must come across as a bit (?) weird at times. If anything this blog has erred on the side of caution. But in reality, what is there to reveal ? I guess reality is not essential for blogs - but I'm not sure my prose is up to any real creativity yet. I got Cosmo as a late night train read the other night - it turned out to have a *sealed* section. Sealed because it had a couple of short "erotic" stories in. They were not that amazing. I think they were part of some competition as there were comments/appraisals of each one. But even if they did not seem to be setting the world on fire, I'm not sure I could do any better (hey why not - if you can't join them, beat them !).
One of the challenges with teaching people to ride horses (bear with me, this is relevant and not a dodgy link) is that you are trying to teach a FEEL, not a skill like reading, writing, adding up. You can teach technique - and adapt it for the situation. But someone can have the technique right and get very different results.
Isn't erotic fiction a similar challenge ? It is trying to express something that is a feel, a feel that will vary on the two (or more ;) ) people involved. It is different if you are writing a manual - then you really are into "left leg here, right hand there" territory. But trying to write something that will give the same feel to everyone who reads it ? Some years ago a friend who wrote a fanzine asked me to review some erotic fiction from a female point of view (the other reviews were all from men). I'm no literary expert but there seemed to be an awful lot of badly written material. I've given it a wide berth since, despite its recent popularity and availability. The Cosmo examples didn't give me any reason to change my mind.
Anyway, back to the main thrust (fnarr fnarr) - part of me feels I should mark/celebrate the anniversary of his departure somehow (and I can think of an appropriate way, but it takes two to tango.... volunteers anyone ?). Actually not so sure meaningless indulgence is so appropriate - or just replacing one kind of self-indulgence with another ?
Part of me feels it is no big deal. I actually already have something to do that Friday night (concert hall with my parents) and am contemplating a competition that Sunday.
So what to do - retire this blog or reinvent it ? ignore the twelve month thing or find some way to mark it ?
ho hum
I was talking to one of my visitors, who split up from her long term partner 4 months ago. It seems to be that the things you miss when you go from relationship to singledom are often the things you were missing...the closeness, the companionship, someone to share things with (and yes, call me Ms Claus). Missing them now is not so much about having had them before, as knowing you *could* have them now if you played your cards a particular way. (Whereas being with your previous partner meant there was no chance !)
This weekend I came back home to discover my next door neighbouring doing a blitz on the "flower" (a.k.a. weed) bed outside their part of the shared drive. His partner is away and he wanted to surprise her with the makeover. Once again I realise how different life is with a partner who is prepared to muck in, co-operate, do their fair share. (I helped on Sunday as part of the area is outside my end of the house - and it made more sense to clear it all and avoid one part reinfesting the other).
Anyway, thinking about the previous rant on self-indulgence, I was wondering whether I ought to "retire" this blog at the twelve months mark... It's done the job of recording the journey so far but I am concerned it is boring and too 'safe'.
So: do I start over ? Or do I simply take this blog into new territory ? A new blog has the option of being relatively anonymous - but then I don't believe this one has an extensive readership anyway so it effectively anonymous ;)
As for new territory - I've mentioned before how I had gained a habit of self-censorship from my time with a partner who was mentally ill. I've not really found the balance on that one yet - I either over-censor or say things I really shouldn't. Must come across as a bit (?) weird at times. If anything this blog has erred on the side of caution. But in reality, what is there to reveal ? I guess reality is not essential for blogs - but I'm not sure my prose is up to any real creativity yet. I got Cosmo as a late night train read the other night - it turned out to have a *sealed* section. Sealed because it had a couple of short "erotic" stories in. They were not that amazing. I think they were part of some competition as there were comments/appraisals of each one. But even if they did not seem to be setting the world on fire, I'm not sure I could do any better (hey why not - if you can't join them, beat them !).
One of the challenges with teaching people to ride horses (bear with me, this is relevant and not a dodgy link) is that you are trying to teach a FEEL, not a skill like reading, writing, adding up. You can teach technique - and adapt it for the situation. But someone can have the technique right and get very different results.
Isn't erotic fiction a similar challenge ? It is trying to express something that is a feel, a feel that will vary on the two (or more ;) ) people involved. It is different if you are writing a manual - then you really are into "left leg here, right hand there" territory. But trying to write something that will give the same feel to everyone who reads it ? Some years ago a friend who wrote a fanzine asked me to review some erotic fiction from a female point of view (the other reviews were all from men). I'm no literary expert but there seemed to be an awful lot of badly written material. I've given it a wide berth since, despite its recent popularity and availability. The Cosmo examples didn't give me any reason to change my mind.
Anyway, back to the main thrust (fnarr fnarr) - part of me feels I should mark/celebrate the anniversary of his departure somehow (and I can think of an appropriate way, but it takes two to tango.... volunteers anyone ?). Actually not so sure meaningless indulgence is so appropriate - or just replacing one kind of self-indulgence with another ?
Part of me feels it is no big deal. I actually already have something to do that Friday night (concert hall with my parents) and am contemplating a competition that Sunday.
So what to do - retire this blog or reinvent it ? ignore the twelve month thing or find some way to mark it ?
ho hum
posted by seahorse at 9:58 pm
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