who would want to eat stale bread the whole time ?

came up with this one while running today...

Say you had been eating stale bread and drinking only water for a long while. You were doing that because it was all that was on offer, and at least that way you survived.

Then someone takes away that bread and water, and for a moment you wonder how you will survive. Then you look around and realise there is much better fare available.

Now there are two possibilities here: conspicuous consumption is one. I've been there, done that, and its really not something that is healthy for me.

So the other option is to be discriminating, discerning, and opt to never eat stale bread again. Much healthier option. (Of course you can only opt for the best that is available to you...)

Take it as an analogy for what you will - my life with the LCT was a "desert" on a number of fronts. At the time it seemed that it was worth that to be with the man I loved, who loved me - because it wasn't him creating the desert, it was his mental health issues. Stand by your man 'n' all that :s

To stretch the analogy (possibly beyond its sensible use ;) ) I guess the added twist here is that you have to opt for a particular food without having tasted it before hand. At least with restaurants you have reviews you can read, although you don't know that someone else's opinion is valid for your own tastes.

But with people you have to take some risks and hope it doesn't go too horribly wrong. I find my confidence has taken quite a knock. Having someone behave as if you are unattractive for a number of years turns it into a pretty convincing belief. Plus I suspect that I minimised the risk of temptation by dressing safe, and not being so concerned about putting on weight. Now I *want* to be attractive, but still feel unattractive... I can change things, but it is going to take time. I tried to wear a summer skirt the other morning to go to work and felt terribly exposed :( (so changed !) (Winter gear - short skirt and opaque tights - not an issue).

At the risk of being terribly cliche, I feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing. What people see is the sheep - normal, sensible, calm, reliable. Or maybe they sometimes see hints of wolf - I quite often get the reaction that people expect me to want to take charge - not a very sheep-like behaviour...

You may ask why I don't just unleash the inner-me "wolf". But I have to exist in a certain world - pay the mortgage, get along with the neighbours etc etc - and I don't live in a wolf-pack society. So for now the wolf has to stay tamed, and under control.