does that make me needy ?
I don't know whether it is the fall out from yesterday's emotions, but I had a real feeling that what I would really like to do this evening would be to curl up with a nice man, pull up the covers, and forget the outside world exists for a while.
(There is something about duvets which, when you curl up in them, is very soothing).
Does that make me needy ?
They have done research on primates which show that if you take away social contact, they cease to thrive. The worst is not to see or touch others of their kind. Sight alone is better than nothing. But the best for their well-being is for them to be able to see and be in physical contact with others. Its not sexual; it is just social.
Yet we tend instead to assume that any physical contact must have some sexual element to it (the when Harry met Sally argument). Which means that we then tend to avoid physical contact with our fellow human beings to avoid it being misinterpreted - unless we know them well enough (as friends) to know it is acceptable and ok.
At one of my previous workplaces I had a hugging agreement with a (male) colleague. Purely platonic. We weren't each other's type but we got on ok as friends.
(Mind you, if I was curling up with someone for the evening, they'd probably be someone who was a pretty good friend - more than just a co-hugger.)
I was logging into hotmail and there was something on the front page about how it was hard to find romance if your head was full of a non-existent ideal. I don't believe I have that ideal; my experience to date has set the benchmark well below "ideal". But at the same time it has meant I am not prepared to compromise on things like honesty. I don't think my challenge is so much giving up on an ideal, as believing I really have anything to offer someone.
Hmmmm - maybe thats why dance used to appeal - because of the potential for social contact ? I remember going to a Salsa bar some years ago in London and dancing with a guy who didn't speak english, and I didn't speak his language. He was a way better dancer than me - but for the length of a song, we danced... close up.
I say "used to appeal" - of course it still does, but with a knee I still don't 100% trust, and the extra weight and lack of fitness, I don't have the stamina or flexibility I used to have.
At last year's work christmas bash I was pretty miffed to discover that despite having been getting fitter by training for the 5k and 10k runs, I was still reduced to a breathless sweaty heap in a remarkably short time. And despite still running, doing a weekly aerobics class and so on, the one salsacise class I've been too so far also showed up I am not as fit as I would like to be.
Ah well, time to take my ageing self off to sleep.
(There is something about duvets which, when you curl up in them, is very soothing).
Does that make me needy ?
They have done research on primates which show that if you take away social contact, they cease to thrive. The worst is not to see or touch others of their kind. Sight alone is better than nothing. But the best for their well-being is for them to be able to see and be in physical contact with others. Its not sexual; it is just social.
Yet we tend instead to assume that any physical contact must have some sexual element to it (the when Harry met Sally argument). Which means that we then tend to avoid physical contact with our fellow human beings to avoid it being misinterpreted - unless we know them well enough (as friends) to know it is acceptable and ok.
At one of my previous workplaces I had a hugging agreement with a (male) colleague. Purely platonic. We weren't each other's type but we got on ok as friends.
(Mind you, if I was curling up with someone for the evening, they'd probably be someone who was a pretty good friend - more than just a co-hugger.)
I was logging into hotmail and there was something on the front page about how it was hard to find romance if your head was full of a non-existent ideal. I don't believe I have that ideal; my experience to date has set the benchmark well below "ideal". But at the same time it has meant I am not prepared to compromise on things like honesty. I don't think my challenge is so much giving up on an ideal, as believing I really have anything to offer someone.
Hmmmm - maybe thats why dance used to appeal - because of the potential for social contact ? I remember going to a Salsa bar some years ago in London and dancing with a guy who didn't speak english, and I didn't speak his language. He was a way better dancer than me - but for the length of a song, we danced... close up.
I say "used to appeal" - of course it still does, but with a knee I still don't 100% trust, and the extra weight and lack of fitness, I don't have the stamina or flexibility I used to have.
At last year's work christmas bash I was pretty miffed to discover that despite having been getting fitter by training for the 5k and 10k runs, I was still reduced to a breathless sweaty heap in a remarkably short time. And despite still running, doing a weekly aerobics class and so on, the one salsacise class I've been too so far also showed up I am not as fit as I would like to be.
Ah well, time to take my ageing self off to sleep.
posted by seahorse at 11:36 pm
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